wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
