My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
