If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
