ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
