I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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