I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
