I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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