you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
