Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
