ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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