Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
