wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
