thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
