you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
