Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
