Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
