Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
