Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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