ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You don't make any sense
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