Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
