im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
