Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
