Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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