and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
