If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
me + whiskey = a bad person
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
