The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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