I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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