the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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