I can text with my tongue
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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