NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
