Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Randomize
