How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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