Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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