Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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