Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
