Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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