did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
