I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
