is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
