please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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