How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
