Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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