Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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