i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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