I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
