am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
