i think i have two assholes
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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