He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
