Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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