Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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