suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
